I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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