if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
