He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
