i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
