what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i now understand why vodka
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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