jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize