Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
