there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
