This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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