i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
