i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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