she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize