You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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