i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
