her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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