if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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