i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
