just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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