This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize