I'm eating all of the evidence.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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