Ambien. No doubt about it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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