Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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