In the future we'll all be gay
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
