mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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