He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
