You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
