i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
