I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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