Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
