and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize