Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
