You're so nebulous sometimes
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
