Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
