Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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