when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
