Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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