do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
