those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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