About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
