all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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