onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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