This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have post one night stand depression
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
