bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
