An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
