Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
