Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
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I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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