i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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