Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
