Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize