Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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