im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
