Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
