Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
