The maid of honor just puked.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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