I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If that was your dad, he is hot
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
