Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i've created a new STD.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
how does that bad decision feel?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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