Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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