I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
