Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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