I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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