I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
