Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i barfeds in our rink
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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