I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
